Generic Product Manufactured
Bug Incision proprietor, the Generic Product album was performed in full. One can note in the sound recording that the master tapes have deteriorated significantly since their original archival mere months before. The utmost care was taken to preserve the original recordings of the backing tracks, however certain extenuating circumstances has led to significant degradation of the iron (III) oxide (Fe2O3) powder coating on the tapes. This was caused by a miscommunication between the curator and custodial staff of the Monroeville Music Center. Essentially, not enough emphasis was placed on the restriction of unauthorized persons entering the archives, namely the younger students of the Center. I am told that a certain fourth-year student was allowed (or simply not prevented) entrance into the tape archives, where various master tapes, RCA Photophone reels, and other classified materials are located (much of which is on wire recordings). This student must have propped a door open long enough for some moisture to pass through the climate control curtain and enter the archives, causing slight condensation to form on some of the metal tape canisters. Once the restoration department was notified, it was too late. Some of the iron oxide had already deteriorated due to the presence of Ethylenediaminetetraacetic Acid in the water particles that entered the room. We are told that the proximity of the Windsor Salt plant is the reason for these acidic particulates. According to the restoration department's audio engineer, "the resultant audio signal from the master tapes is therefore distorted, and unpleasant." Nonetheless, a facsimile was made of the master backing tracks, which is what is heard in this recording. In order to discipline the student responsible, he was required to volunteer in the restoration department for a period of one month, as well as reenact the synthesizer accompaniment for this recorded performance. We are certain that this punishment, especially the latter, will prevent this from ever happening again. This retributive concert can be heard here, as all proceeds will go towards the further restoration and preservation of any and all archives damaged by this misdeed.